I should be over you by now. I would have moved on and embrace what life has presented me. Still, there is a day when I am inclined to think about you with all the unanswered questions. The puzzle will never be completed and maybe because it is better that way. Maybe because the picture will be more painful to bear.I don't know how my mother have loved you and I will never know why you betrayed her. Maybe some people are just not meant to stay and that you only have to be in her life for a short time because of me. Life is full of mysteries and at times, apathy can be bliss.
I grew up hating and longing for you at the same time. I partly blamed myself because I might have been the reason why you left -- correction, why you never came for us. Back in those days, people's impression were not that helpful when it comes to "family". It took decades to process all social stigma and I wonder if you have been stigmatised for such abandonment that you pulled.
I will never understand the whys and the hows because probably, they don't matter anymore. However, there are still moments...moments in between seconds when I ask the Universe if ever you think of me, too. I will never know...
I have forgiven you; in spite and despite of it all, I will always remain...
Your daughter.
